She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
