"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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