Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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