somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
