So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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