His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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