so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
