Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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