when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
