Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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