I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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