i jhust puked up my retainher.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
