I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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