I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
