found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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