Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
