Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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