genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
