ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
