Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
