I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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