you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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