I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize