Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
