yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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