You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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