dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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