What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
