That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
