yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
