It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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