I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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