Me too!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize