There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I will be naked everywhere
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize