I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize