Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
