he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
