Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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