I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
