ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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