We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
