He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
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I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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