Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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