so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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