Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
