worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
