..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
