he puts the penis in happiness.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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