What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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