As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
