i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
