what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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