trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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