its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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