I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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