i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
