I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
