You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
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You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize