every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
