Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize