I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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