We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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