I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
