Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
