I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
